how odd: a neville and harry love affair
by kill bill rocks
Summary: Harry an Neville are now together but how is hermione suddenly in labour. Neville has suddenly turned chav!
1. Default Chapter

How odd.

''Harry. I, umm, know that you think i am well... a bit of an idiot, but i have something to tell you...''.

Here he was, Neville Longbottom finally admiting his love for Harry Potter. It had started three months ago, after that buisness with Tom Riddle, he couldn't help noticing what a good person he was, always helping him out of trouble and being his friend no matter what stupid things he did.

Neville'sgran had noticed how obviously camp he was starting to become, and she sat him down after discovering a whole jotter full of 'Mrs Neville Potter' notes, so here he was 3 months later admitting what he felt, he had never been so nervous.

''I have something to tell you too Neville...i love you.''

Harry had said it first, Nevilles face lit up.

''Me too Harry, me too.''


	2. Admmiting it

**_Admitting it._**

**The next morning Neville and Harry strode alongside each other down to the Great Hall, the slytherins being totally homophobic noticed first, staring at them, but Harry and Neville just held hands and carried on towards Ron. Ron was eating toast and had got Jam all over his robes and was looking like a total tard by now.**

**''Good morning Ron got something to tell you.'' Neville beamed, he had never been so happy.**

**''Me and Neville are going out now''. **

**_CLANG!_**

**The look on Rons face said it all, ''ok, then. Urmm well have you seen Hermione''?**

**''No sorry Ron'', Neville said, Ron gave him an evil glare.''**

**By now the entire breakfast hall was hanging on edge desprate to hear more, Proffessers Snape and Mc Gonagall appeared to have gone under deep shock, Dunbledore was carrying on with breakfast trying to return things to normall.**

**''OY! Gay boys. Heres your bucktoothed friend'', shouted a Ravenclaw as Hermione burst through the room with the impression of being 8 months pregnant.**

**''Help, i don't know what is going on'', cried a sobbing Hermione.**

**Don't hesitate to review. :)**


	3. Hermione goes in to labour

**Ok then. At the moment i am absolutely thrilled 2 people reviewed. You're so cool 'really-big-HP-freak'. Plus sunshine buddies. Well anyway moving swiftly on...**

**_Hermione goes in to labour._**

**It took twenty minutes for Albus Dumbledore to calm down his pupils, as most of them had gone to total hysterics upon seeing Hermione either pregnant or very fat. Hermione was then taken to the hospital wing and had just sat down when Harry and Ron came in, Harry looking flustered after just having the telling off of his life for disrupting breakfast.**

**''Hermione are you all right? What happened?'' askedRon.**

**''That Mr Weasley is something we would all like to know, Hermione would you please fill us in?''**

**Dumbledore drew a chair up to Hermiones bed and magicked up some calming potion, giving it to Hermione. She took a long gulp, looking like some demonic alcoholic.**

**''I woke up this morning with these stomach pains, i just thought it was something i ate yesterday, but then i saw ...this'' Hermione said, staring at her bump.**

**''I see wel-''**

**''ARGHHHHHHHHH! HELP!''**

**Hermione threw back her head and screamed, everyone in the room knew she was just about to give birth, Madam Promfrey gasped.**

**Harry put his hands on his hips (hint hint). ''You don't think shes been cursed do you''?**

**''That I do not know Harry something must have happened, we must now prepare for the baby.'' **

**''Crikey'' whispered Ron, ''first Harry now this''.**

**''Oh no Ron, no need to make fun of my love for Neville i have never felt so strongly about anyone.''**

**''BOYS'' barked Madam Promfrey, ''GET OUT OF HERE! The delivery won't be long, just get outside''.**

**Harry and Ron ran outside just as Hermione pushed out her brand new baby ...HOUSE-ELF.**

**''Isn't she beautiful'' whispered Hermione.**

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Wow this just gets worse. REVIEW PLEASE! Plan to do more harry and Neville.


	4. Fido

**NO WAY!**

OK mornin all, sorry i have'nt bin updating this had other sad projects to deal with an a strange re assessment where you do loads of work but its still never enough, tis the curse of Mrs Oliver. Well moving on...i LOVE my reviewers i feel so loved every time i get a new review.

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**While on his way out the room Harry heard a huge scream and turned around, next second Hermione was asking whether she could borrow money for a designer elf holder.**

**'' Please Harry, lets get it in a nice musky green, it will match his eyes, i know i will call him Fido. I had a dog called Fido once he was such a darling, oh Harry, isn't he such an angel?''**

**Harry proceded to give Hermione a long freaked out look, said goodbye then went to find Neville. Neville was in the common room, knitting a bib for Fido. Harry put his hand on Nevilles leg an gave him a loooooonnnggggg kiss, he grinned an then sat next to Neville in a scary romantic fashion.**

**''Isn't it lovely Harry, musky green, it will bring out the colour of Fido's eyes.''**

**''Course Neville, you know best you sexy beast (this is all so amusing in my head).''**

**The portrait swung open and there was Ron and Hermione, fussing over what appeared to be a fig wearing a bobble hat and a poncho which said 'Mommas lil Sugarplum'. They were both gleaming at Fido and playing peek-a-boo with him while Fido was scrabbling in Hermiones arms trying to find cleaning supplies.**

**''EVERYBODY I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE'' shouted Harry.**

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**What will this announcement be? Is Harry going to get married to Neville? Will the slytherins stop being homophobic an will Fido find the Pledge an dusters? Stay tuned for another episode of HARRY AND NEVILLE:A LOVE AFFAIR!**


	5. Gangster

**Gangster.**

**Mornin all, this chapter is goin to be really weird, so just keep up, i am on a hyper this could get nasty.**

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**Just as Harry was about to open his mouth to reveal his big secret the portrait opened and out came Dobby dressed in what looked like a suit perfectly fitting him but in bright neon pink.**

**''Hermione me homie let us takes baby Fido and jet.'' To match all this he was doing little rap hand movements(i don't know rap slang as am part goth), the common room now used to all this weirdness now payed no attention.**

**''Oh Dobby i missed you, i couldn't cope being a single mum''. Hermione now picked up her fig/baby elf and went over to Dobby and threw herself on him in a huge hug while Dobby collapsed under her weight.**

**Harry meanwhile finding the emotion too much to bare cryed in to Nevilles shoulder which was now covered in cack. The crying carried on for a few minutes apart from Dobby who was readjusting his bling, when suddenly Neville stood up.**

**''EVERYBODY I DON'T LOVE HARRY ANY MORE AND I AM TURNING IN TO A CHAV, ITS BECAUSE HARRY HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME, WITH RON!''**

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**oh calamity what will happen next?**


	6. Aftermath type thing

**Hey all, haven't been updating anything lately as i have had to wrestle with msn which refuses to show my emails (if you have a suggestion please help me). ANYWAY it is likely that next few chapters will be the last as i would like to focus on other things on harry potter: one of my ideas is to have harry open a circus. Well anyway what happened to neville?**

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Aftermath.

Ron and Harry stared at each other, just when you would think they would start laughing at Neville they flung themselves at each other and proceded to make out, while Neville stood like a dumbass not really knowing what to do.

''WHY HARRY I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!'' said a desprete Neville wailing on the floor, cack coming out of his nose.

''Dunno got a bit bored really'' replied Harry while looking unintrested at Nevilles misery. Neville wiped the snot off his lower face and pulled a burberry cap out of his robes, ''revenge shall be sweet innit''. (WOW staring at a chav out of the window looks like a right dimbo his stupidity is being reflected off his trainers). Neville walked out the common room, no doubt with many evil schemes flowing in his suddenly thick skull.

Hermione spoke up after a while,'' hang on a minute i thought Ron has been homophobic for the past billion chapters.'' She was still attached to Dobby who was now playing with Fido, who was wearing a snow suit and a bobble hat even though it was a roasting day in june and Fido appeared to be combusting.

Everyone in the room paused they could hear a noise coming from the roof, the roof was ripped off and Hermione screamed clutching her burnt fig. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AIWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


End file.
